How To Dine Like The Woman Who Belongs at The Best Tables
For me, dining out is a performance, an enjoyable one, but nonetheless, a performance. One I’ve noticed particularly in this post-pandemic era, where the clubs are closing, and what used to be a buzzing nightlife is now becoming a silent hum. People have chosen a different kind of hospitality to enjoy.
But dining out is not just an experience, it’s an art form, one that I’ve come to realise a certain type of woman knows how to play.
She saunters into the most exclusive restaurants, as if she’s been coming for years, securing the best seats in the house. Knowing her way around the menu, she orders with confidence and charms the sommelier into finding her a wine that isn’t even on the list.
Don’t be confused and believe this has something to do with money or connections, because although that helps, it’s not necessary. It’s about presence, poise, and knowing how to play the game.
Of course, when we dine out, we’re mainly there for the good food, great wine and even better company, but it’s more than that. There’s a dance between indulgence and effortless sophistication that, when done right, can elevate the entire experience.
Throughout my years in the fashion industry, I’ve watched the women who do it best, some of whom were my mentors and high-profile clients and here is what I have learned about how to dine as though you belong at the best tables.
The Reservation
Quite frankly, I usually pass this bit over to my sister, who is much more organised than me, I just want to show up, but she prefers to take the lead and make sure every detail has been addressed.
But here’s the thing, there are two types of people in the world, those who hear and accept “sorry we’re fully booked” and those who hear “fully booked” as a negotiation.
The secret is that high-end restaurants operate on a relationship basis. If you’re a regular, the doors are always open, if you’re not there yet, there is still a way in.
Always Call
In a time where it’s so easy to book online through a booking service, calling directly will get you much further than any app. If the host is genuine and there really aren’t any available tables, ask about the waitlist.
Be Flexible with Time
I’m convinced I have always had a magical dining experience because I visit when it’s not too busy. You’re far more likely to get a table between 1 and 4 p.m. than during the most popular hours after 8 p.m.
Be open to an early lunch or a very late dinner, especially in London.
Dress the Part
For the love of god, please check the dress code before you arrive. I’ve seen people get turned away because they pulled up in scuffed trainers and a grubby polo shirt, and at the same time, I’ve seen people be allowed in (after overhearing claims the house was fully booked) simply because the guest and their party were well dressed.
Looking the part will increase your chances tenfold of getting the best table in the room since restaurants want to seat people who enhance their atmosphere.
Play the long game by becoming a regular. Once a restaurant recognises you, suddenly, things shift. A waiter remembers your name, a host slips you a last-minute table, and a sommelier greets you with a knowing nod. You’re in!
The Arrival
Walking into a restaurant like you belong there is half the battle. Leave with enough time to spare so you’re not bursting through the doors looking flustered and dishevelled. After that, the next step is your walk.
If you’ve been to Scott’s in Richmond, you’ll know what I’m talking about when those dining room doors open and the whole room turns to look at you. I’ve been multiple times, and I still have to brace myself. I don’t know why, because it does get easier.
And I don’t ever initially walk into spaces thinking about how the colour of my skin will be perceived, but you walk into an upscale dining hall in Richmond where you can smell the Amex Black cards and Coco Chanel No.5 from the lobby, trust me, you suddenly remember.
Walk tall, back straight, politely thank the host for showing you to your table, take one more subtle glance at the room as you get comfy, and embrace the smiling faces as they give you the nod of approval.
But I can’t just leave you with that.
Here are some more ways you can make an impressive arrival:
Confidence is key
Even if it’s your first time, act like it isn’t. Enter with the ease of someone who’s been there before. No wide-eyed gawking, no hesitation at the door.
Know the host’s name
I learned this from my mother, who would always say
“When you call a service or establishment, get the person’s name.”
If you made the reservation, remember who you spoke to. A simple, “Hi, I believe I spoke with Alex earlier,” makes you sound like someone worth remembering.
If you want a better table, ask strategically
Don’t demand the best table, too aggressive. Instead, try: “We’d love a seat with a view if anything becomes available.” It plants the seed without entitlement.
Don’t rush
Good restaurants set their own pace. If you’re led to the bar first, embrace it.
Order a drink, take in the atmosphere, and settle in. The best dining out experiences unfold at their rhythm.
Order Like an Insider
Menus at upscale restaurants can be intimidating. My advice would be to study them before you arrive, learn the names, how to pronounce them, and what they are…
Unless it’s being used to garnish a martini, samphire is not a cocktail sweetheart.
It’s likely your menu will be described in a poetic, Shakespearean ingredient-heavy detail, so do your homework so as not to embarrass yourself. Here are some key tips to exude some expertise:
Know the restaurant’s signature dishes
As I mentioned, a quick search beforehand gives you some insights into what they do best.
Like the famous Tagliolini at Harry’s Dolce Vita or the Butter Chicken at Gymkhana.
Ordering the chef’s speciality (or at least acknowledging it) signals you have a genuine interest and are in the know.
Ask the right questions
Despite what you see in the movies, asking “What’s good here?” is too vague. Instead, show some discernment by asking, “I’ve heard great things about the Dover Sole, how is it prepared?”
Be decisive
Ideally, you should have made a solid decision, especially if you studied the menu before you arrived, but sometimes you change your mind on the spot as your taste buds want something totally different on the day.
Have at least three options to choose from so you’re not ‘‘ifffing and butting’ between the lobster linguine and the steak for too long.
The effortlessly chic diners order with confidence and conviction.
Let the sommelier guide you
Don’t be tempted to default to the most expensive wine, choose your usual poison, or, if you’re feeling adventurous, describe your preference and let the professionals make their suggestion.
In my experience, if you’re ordering a cocktail, they can even concoct something extra special that’s not even on the menu.
Dining Etiquette
No matter how often you dine somewhere, there is always a way to behave. How you eat in front of the TV binge-watching a Harlen Coben series will be a lot different to how you eat at a table with a hundred knives and forks protruding on either side of you.
There are a few tell-tale signs which give away the difference between those who dine for a special occasion and those who dine out regularly, I’m going to teach you how to do the latter so that even if you don’t, it will look like you do.
Napkin placement
Despite what most say, there’s no need to place the napkin on your lap immediately after taking your seat, way too eager.
Get comfortable, allow room for small talk, take in the ambience, and wait until you’ve at least ordered the drinks before you whip out your napkin. Sometimes if you wait long enough, the maître d’ will do it for you.
If you excuse yourself because you saw on TikTok that the bathroom was selfie-worthy, place your napkin on the chair, not the table.
Silverware is a signal
Going back to the hundred pieces of cutlery heading either side of you, we all learned from the film, Titanic, the rules of which piece to start with first - work from the outside in.
When finished, place your knife and fork together at an angle, this subtly tells the server you’re done.
Pacing is everything.
Eat slowly. People who belong at the table never seem like they’re racing to finish. They savour, they converse, they let the meal unfold naturally.
Phone etiquette is strict
No phones on the table. If, like me, you must take a photo for the sake of content, be discreet, be quick, be efficient. No flash, no prolonged photoshoot. Once you’ve got the shot, put the phone away in your bag.
Tipping in London
Many high-end restaurants add a service charge, but if a maître d’ or sommelier went out of their way for you, a discreet cash tip or a handwritten thank you note on the receipt makes you memorable.
Leaving An Impression
You may have finished your meal, but we’re not done yet. There’s still time for a post-dinner power move, and the way you leave is just as important as how you arrived.
Say thank you, personally. If you had a great experience, thank the host, your server, and if possible, the chef. We’re so used to complaining (especially in the UK) that we can’t easily forget that compliments go a long way in this world.
Book your next visit immediately. A low-effort way to build status? As you leave, say, “I’d love to return with a friend in a few weeks, what’s available?” This signals that you’re a returning guest, not a one-time visitor.
Subtle social proof. If you genuinely loved it, post a story or a discreet Instagram tag. The best restaurants love to see their name in tasteful, aspirational settings.
Dining Like You Belong Is a Mindset
Ultimately, dining at the best tables isn’t about faking status, it’s about embodying a level of ease and confidence that makes you feel at home in any setting.
I’ve learned that the best way to exude that energy is to actually enjoy the experience. The women who do it best aren’t forcing it, they’re simply in their element without having to utter a word.
So next time you step into one of London’s finest restaurants, whether it’s a corner table at Scott’s, a last-minute res at Chiltern Firehouse, or a coveted seat at a buzzy new opening, walk in with the quiet confidence of someone who belongs. Because you do.
And trust me, once you master this, the best tables will start finding you.
