How To Know If You Are Being LOVE-BOMBED
What is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is a new, but popular term within the dating scene, it’s a term used to describe a particular behaviour that is a toxic form of manipulation by bombarding their victim with excessive admiration, affection and attention during the early stages of a relationship.
And I know what you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with someone showing how obsessed they are with me”?
But love-bombing is a manipulative tactic which enables you to become dependent on and obligated to that person.
In most cases, love-bombing is very hard to detect and with it being such a subtle strategy most don’t even know they are being love-bombed until it’s too late.
A deceptive tool, often used by people who suffer from severe narcissism and abusers, love bombers will seek to obtain the affection and attention of the person they are trying to pursue until they have finally ‘got them’, only to then change their behaviour to one which is difficult, abusive and manipulative.
Keys Signs to Watch Out For
Love bombing is more common than you might think, here are a few signs to watch out for
Wanting to see you every day/week or more often than you’re used to
Constantly calling or messaging you throughout the day
Showering you with elaborate gifts after only knowing you for a short while
Excessive compliments and affection early on
They copy your interests and agree with everything you say
Insistent on putting a ‘label on it’ after a short amount of time
Claiming you’re their soulmate after only knowing a short amount of time
Your gut is telling you something is off. Your gut feeling is your body cautioning you, trust your instincts.
How to Avoid Becoming a Victim of Love Bombing
As I mentioned before, love bombing can be difficult to detect, it’s trying to distinguish whether a person is being genuine or if they are attempting to manipulate you.
Fortunately, there are several ways to reduce your chances of becoming a victim of love bombing.
Go at a pace that feels comfortable for you
Love bombers will create an illusion that everything is perfect very early on by lavishing you with lots of attention.
If you feel as though it’s going too fast, for example, they want to see you more often than you are comfortable with, or they’re eager to put a title on your relationship only after a few weeks of dating
Let them know as much as you’re enjoying their company and getting to know them, it would be great if you both could slow it down and go at a steadier pace.
This might mean suggesting you see each other once a week instead of every day, or waiting a bit longer before you become exclusive.
Let’s face it, if they are genuine in their feelings towards you, they’d respect your needs.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries isn’t just a guide for what others should accept, it’s also an agreement with yourself on what you have decided works for you and what doesn’t.
Dating without boundaries leaves you open to attracting unwanted experiences with unsavoury characters.
Set boundaries from the beginning, before you even begin dating you should have boundaries in place, that way when circumstances arise you know if this is something that needs to be navigated or a complete deal breaker.
Final thoughts
If you’re afraid you’re already involved with a love bomber, talk it through with a close friend or family member, someone you trust and would be honest with you, sometimes it’s good to get an outsider’s perspective.
We’re all different, what might be uncomfortable for one won’t be for another.
If someone told me I was their soulmate and they wanted to marry me after a couple of months of knowing me, I would run for the hills, I would need longer before I could accept such bold statements.
For others becoming exclusive after a few weeks of dating is normal, only you know what works for you.
Come back to these signs as a guide to knowing whether someone intends to love you or control you for their weird satisfactions.
You deserve a love that is genuine and authentic, not rushed and manipulated.
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