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I went back and forth about whether to use the word influencer in the title because, since the rise of social media platforms, the meaning has totally changed.

At the same time, using it made the most sense.

Because at the root of it ‘influence’ isn’t something you hope people grant you, it’s something you build internally and then embody externally.

Then others believe in it.

Open TikTok and you’ll see it. Everyone’s an influence in some respect.

• A girl sharing her skincare routine.

• A single mum of two breaking down time management.

• A student voicing an opinion that goes viral overnight.

• Influence is no longer exclusive to celebrities. It’s a rite of passage in the default currency of the digital age.

Whether you realise it or not, you’re already influencing how people feel, think, and respond through your energy, words, choices, even your silence.

The only difference between women who lead the narrative and women who follow it is how deliberately they’ve programmed their influence.

And as a woman, that matters more than ever. Influence gives you leverage in your career, your income, your relationships, and the way the world reflects back who you are. It’s not about being loud. It’s about being undeniable.

In this article, I’ll break down exactly how to program yourself for influence from an identity standpoint to showing up intentionally, so you no longer just hope to be influential, but also impactful.

For once, I was running on time, meeting a friend for lunch. Clothes were on, makeup was done, hair was finished, and I had about 20 minutes to spare before I needed to leave to catch my train.

What could I do in those 20 minutes?…

That was the first time I ever showed up on camera to the community on social media, Instagram, to be specific.

It wasn’t planned, I didn’t really know what I was going to say, but what had taken me 4 years to pluck up the courage to do, I suddenly felt compelled to do in the heat of the moment on a random Wednesday afternoon and hit the record button.

So believe me, I know. That tightness in your chest that you feel every time you feel called to speak up, or post online, or walk into a room full of people and introduce yourself to someone is frightening, but it isn’t always because you're shy.

Yes, being shy is a personality trait, but there’s more to it than just being shy.

When you feel the urge to step forward, but feel as though something is holding you back, it’s because you are ready to be seen, but for so long you’ve trained your mind to hide.

You want to express yourself through your voice, your inner power, even your style, but before you’ve even uttered a word, you feel like something is shutting you down. You want to be confident, bold, and influential, but instead you shrink…

And the fear sets in.

You start wondering:

• “What’s wrong with me?”

• “My life would be so much easier if I were a confident girl”

• “What would it take for me to just put myself out there?”

But before you get frustrated with yourself, you should know that there’s nothing wrong with you, and the good news is, being shy is something you can easily overcome.

I’m not talking about ‘fixing your shyness’ because there’s nothing wrong with you in the first place. Instead, in this article, I’ll show you a framework to step into who you really are and finally find the confidence to be seen.

Let me start with something that might rattle your vision board straight off of your wall:

The last thing I ever want you to do is work toward your goals.

Sounds wild.

And you’re probably thinking, “Is this Patrice? The woman who claims she’s helping women worldwide become to the best version of themselves? And now she’s telling us to ditch our goals?”

Yes, it’s me. And no, I don’t want you to ditch your goals, but I do want you to redirect your approach….

We’ve been spoon-fed the hustle, the five-year plans and the idea that delayed gratification will eventually reward us with the life we want.

And while these concepts are important to know, what you’re not being told is…

Working towards your goal is often the very thing keeping it out of reach.

Don’t get me wrong, having goals is important. After all, they are your north star. They give you a target. They pull you out of the noise and give you a reason to keep going.

Of course, our goals are sacred.

But what I’m about to reveal might just flip the entire script inside out.

In a world where we glorify transformation, the before and after photos, the rags to riches, the single to married life. The aesthetically pleasing morning routines.

The part no one ever talks about is that bit in the middle.

That awkward part in the middle that boring and unsexy. The space between who you are and who you are becoming.

The part where you’re all doing all the right things, but it still feels like nothing is happening.

No applause, no views, no recognition, no shift…just air.

This is where most people give up. Not because they’re lazy or they don’t want it bad enough, but because they’ve arrived at a point where it just is.

Becoming the best version of yourself requires more than a desire. It requires emotional discipline to keep going even when the process falls to a stalemate, and the invisible remains as just that.

In this article, I’m going to break down why becoming your best self feels so boring at first, what’s actually happening during that season (even when it looks like nothing is), and how to mentally reframe boredom as proof that you’re building something real.

Listen, you’ve got good ideas. Lots of them. You’ve got a strong vision. Big enough to fill an arena. And you’ve made more than a few promises to yourself about who you’re becoming.

But deep down, you also know what it feels like to ignore your inner voice and abandon the plan that’s collecting dust somewhere in the back of your mind as you say “I’ll start on Monday”, knowing you won’t

I know. I’ve been there.

And I soon realised, before I blamed it on motivation or a lack of confidence. This came down to the relationship I had with myself…

It was about self-trust and whether or not I actually believed myself when I said “I can do this”

If second-guessing, starting over, or overthinking is keeping you stuck in a loop, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you, it’s because somewhere along the line, you stopped being someone you could rely on.

The good news is that can change.

But it won’t happen with any more vision board, or an empty morning routine. It starts with honesty, small wins and rebuilding the relationship you have with the most important person in your life, you.

In this article, I reveal the thing you didn’t see that enables you to keep letting yourself down and how to finally stop.