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36. The One Skill That Makes People Instantly Respect You
As much as we sit back and pretend we don’t care what others think, to be respected by our family, friends, partners, colleagues and even strangers is a feeling that makes us feel good.
But there’s one particular skill that makes people instantly respect you, and it has nothing to do with what you look like, the bag you’re carrying, the clothes you wear or who you know.
Instead, it’s how you show up for yourself and if you show up for yourself in the same way you expect others to show up for you. Most people hold others to a higher standard than they hold themselves, and then wonder why they’re not taken seriously.
I know, I know. You should be respected no matter what, but unfortunately, that’s not how society works.
So either you wait another century for the world to wake up, or you play the game, win, then use your newfound power to help change it quickly.
In this article, I’ll walk you through why keeping the promises you make to yourself is the ultimate credibility builder, the consequences of following through versus flaking on yourself, and the mental shift that will change the way you operate in every area of your life.
35. How To Be The Most Confident Woman Room as an Introvert
I always find it so ironic that people think that because you’re an extrovert, you automatically are given the gift of confidence.
But when you get around really confident people, they come off as an introvert. They hate small talk, they value their privacy, they limit their presence online, and they are quite happy in their own company.
And although we’re told confidence is about speaking up, making the first move, being outgoing, the truth is that, if it’s not in your nature to force it, acting this way will just drain you and make you feel like a fraudulent Fiona.
In this article, I’m going to show you how that as an introvert, you don’t need to ‘out-loud’ anybody at an event, or talk about the weather to create a conversation. You can be confident without uttering a single word.
33. How To Adopt The Audacity of a White Man in a World That is Telling You To Be Quiet
The true title of this article was meant to be...’How To Adopt The Audacity of a White, Middle to Upper Class, Heterosexual Man in a World That Is Telling You To Be Quiet’…
But it was way too long.
Nevertheless, we’ve seen it countless times.
In meetings, on panels, in group chats, in job interviews, these days even at a damn Pilates class.
He shows up, he’s not that good…In fact he’s not good at all.
Underqualified, overconfident, and even if he is a bit nervous, it’s not because of his gender and definitely not because of his race.
He’s there, taking up space, not because he’s the best, it’s because deep down, there is no reason for him to feel as though he doesn’t belong.
No matter where he is, the world has been designed so that he can move freely like an aged-over-60 London pensioner with a freedom pass (and even they have restrictions).
And because he moves so brazenly and believes in his own sauce, the world believes him too.
Now, compare that to you.
You are brilliant, intelligent, vivacious, fun, full of ideas, and I’d go as far as to say a genius.
But you tiptoe around your ideas, you stutter when describing your dreams, you water your voice down to sound less authoritative.
You preface your excellence with “just a quick thought” or “I’m not an expert but…”
And what do you get in return? Glanced over, looked past or sometimes just completely ignored.
You may even have had the same audacity you courageously exercised weaponised against you.
But no more.
In this article, we’re going to break down the various ways to embody an unshakeable audacity without losing either your softness or sharpness.
We need more women who aren’t afraid to lead with presence, speak up with conviction, and stop waiting for permission.
We’re the most powerful piece on the chessboard. Are you ready to make the next move?
32. The Three Types of Confidence, And The One You’re Missing
It’s been the reason I’ve been so fortunate in many situations. From interning at fashion magazines, styling photoshoots in Paris and Rome, launching a beauty brand and now guiding women around the world into their best versions.
And in the same breath, it’s the reason I’d held back for over three to four years from speaking both on and to the camera to share my thoughts more intimately.
I always found it strange that I could be so confident in one setting, say in a group of friends, where once upon a time I’d be deemed ‘the loud one’, then in the next moment my stomach would turn at the thought of speaking to a bunch of strangers online who didn’t know me at all.
Confidence is often sold to us as a one-size-fits-all, but if you think about it long enough, that can’t be right, surely?
It also can’t be right that some women are just born with it and some are not? You don’t come into the world strutting around the hospital wing, hi-fiving all of the other babies.
Confidence is not one thing, it’s three…
And if you’ve been struggling with self-doubt, insecurities, impostor syndrome, or simply feeling as though you’re never quite enough, then it’s either because you’ve been focused on building the wrong type of confidence or even skipping one entirely.
In this article, I’m going to share the three major types of confidence, how to recognise them, how to build on them and finally how to layer all three to turn you into a full-blown icon.