5 Key Life Lessons I Have Learned In 35 Years
Life is a journey of self-discovery, growth, and learning and through the 35 years which I have navigated my way through life, I've encountered various challenges and achievements, both successes and obstacles to which have either made me or tested me.
Without letting my life experiences completely define me, I am still able to find comfort in knowing many of these experiences had to happen in order to reach a place of fulfilment which I feel so close to right now. I've learned some valuable lessons that have inspired me to become the best version of myself and I look forward to learning more.
Here are 5 Key Life Lessons I have Learned In 35 Years:
1. Self-Love Is The Greatest Love Of All
Only in recent years have I recognised that it is impossible to fully love others and receive love on a level that works for me if I don't love myself first. I'm not just talking about loving the way I look or my personality, I'm talking about unconditional love, acknowledging that we all have a dark side, identifying my not-so-positive traits, and deciding to love myself anyway knowing I'm still a work in progress.
Unconditional self-love has taught me a great deal of self-awareness, which has been extremely beneficial to my growth.
Ive also noticed the more I practice self-love, the less I tolerate mediocrity, this has allowed me to attract better experiences in various areas of my life. Although I was never much of a people pleaser, I’ve realised the importance of not always doing something just to make other people happy, by doing this I’ve been able to live for myself and not for other people.
Self-love isn't just about skincare routines and bubble baths. It's about taking responsibility for your own happiness, being able to look in the mirror and ask yourself, "Do I love you completely?" and respond with a resounding "Yes."
2. Don’t Take Things So Personally
Since we are social creatures by nature, it’s natural to want respect from everybody we meet, but sometimes the actions of others, the things people say, or if we’re being criticised it can feel like a personal attack and deeply affect us long-term. However, I've come to learn that most of the time, what people say and do is very rarely about me.
You never really know what people have going on in their own lives, and a lot of the time people's words and actions are often a reflection of their own insecurities and issues. Learning not to take things personally has allowed me to stop overthinking and let go of unnecessary stress.
3. It’s Normal To Outgrow Old Friends
Growing up I always had a large group of friends. Through school, college, and work, I had accumulated around five different friendship circles mainly consisting of girls whom I had known for many years. My Christmas card list was as long as my arm. During our 20s, we created lots of fun memories from girly holidays, drunk nights out, drunk nights in, and spending every summer chilling in the park.
Then, along came my 30’s lol (those in their 30’s already know), and slowly but surely, everything started to change. My circles were getting smaller, but the strangest part was that I felt completely fine about it.
Don’t get me wrong, friendship breakups aren’t easy to process, but for me personally, each breakup felt as though it happened at the right time. Everyones on their own unique journey and at a different stage, so it’s only normal to outgrow old friendships if youre not growing in the same direction. Nevertheless, youd be much better off having a small circle of people who are genuine and aligned with similar values than having a large group of friends-turned-acquaintances just for the sake of the good old times.
Besides your story isn’t over yet, there’s still lots of time to make new friends if that’s what you want.
4. There's Success in Solitude
As I said, I had a lot of friends growing up, so solitude wasn't something I often experienced. And while I was never uncomfortable being alone, I just never got the chance because if I wasn't working, I was out socialising. However, at age 35, I discovered the great value in spending time alone.
Those who enjoy their own company know how addictive it can be, but it's important to be mindful that solitude doesn't turn into isolation, which can lead to loneliness.
For me, solitude is how I am able to grow quickly, it gives me time to reflect on past mistakes and learn from them, think for myself without outside opinions, and get crystal clear on what I want from life. If you are someone who is struggling to find your purpose or as I like to call it, ‘what lights you up’, learn how to sit by yourself, it’s difficult to find the answers in an overactive mind. Some of my best ideas and insights come during those quiet moments of solitude.
“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear” - Rumi
5. The Closer I've Gotten to My Purpose, the Quieter I Have Become
As I've gotten closer to my purpose and passion in life, I've found that I talk less and listen more. This of course is quite the opposite of who I used to be, and I guess something which is commonly linked with simply getting older and naturally becoming more calm. However, I resonate more with Naval Ravikant's take on getting quieter, which you can find here.
Also, by becoming more focused on my purpose, I'm less concerned with outside noise. I've learned that fulfilment comes from living in alignment with my true self, rather than seeking external validation or approval. This has definitely brought me more inner peace.
