The 4-Step Roadmap To Entering Your Selfish Era
If you feel like you’re constantly putting others' needs and desires before your own, or tired of feeling like you're not living your best life. It might be time to enter your ‘selfish era’ and finally prioritise yourself.
I know, another TikTok term that is making it’s way round, but honestly this one is possibly my second favourite out of all the terms I have heard over the past year or so. The ‘Lucky Girl Mindset’ is the first. The ‘Selfish Era’ is practically self-love on steroids and requires you to start taking control of your life and making yourself a priority. It means setting boundaries, saying no to things that don't align with your values, not feeling the need to attach yourself to someone romantically and taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It's important to know this is not about being selfish, narcissistic, or inconsiderate, but rather taking the necessary steps to put yourself first enough to live a fulfilling life.
Keep reading to find your 4 step roadmap to entering your selfish era.
1. Set Boundaries
One of the first steps towards a journey of self-love is to set boundaries. This step is often repeated because it is so powerful, but many people are afraid to implement it due to co-dependency and placing an importance on external validation. Some people prefer to have no boundaries and build many mediocre relationships rather than have multiple boundaries and only a few genuine relationships. This is a recipe for disaster and for attracting people who will disrespect you.
Becoming clear about what you will and won't tolerate can be challenging, and it does take courage, especially if you're used to putting others first and caring about what those around you think. However by setting boundaries showing you will not b taken for a ride, and are assertive about your needs and desires without a need to compromise them for the sake of others.
2. Embrace Independence
Independence is key when entering your selfish era. This does not mean isolating yourself from the world completely, as too much of that is not good for anyone. However, free yourself from the idea that you must constantly attach yourself to someone romantically to survive life.
If you find it difficult to go through a period of time without giving yourself your undivided attention, it's time to start getting comfortable in your own skin and not relying on the company of anyone outside of you to feel good.
What you look for in others, learn to give to yourself. There's power in that.
When you embrace your independence, you boost your confidence and become more self-aware, which ironically makes you more attractive and draws people towards you even more. By not desperately seeking company you’ll no longer feel the need to conform to the societal norms or expectations, and shows you are capable of living life on your own terms.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
We can’t really have a ‘selfish era’ without a self-care practice, can we? Use your selfish era to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This means making time for rest, and relaxation in a way that means something to you.
Give yourself permission to do things that bring you joy and fulfilment, without feeling guilty.
As you begin to prioritise self-care, you become more in tune with your needs and desires. You no longer feel guilty for taking time for yourself, and you can recharge your energy so that you can show up as your best self. Practice physical self-care by creating vision boards, reading books, soaking in Goddess baths, watching your favourite shows, learning how to eat well for your body, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep. You can take care of your mental health by practicing mindfulness, meditation, or therapy. You can take care of your emotional health by cultivating positive relationships, doing things that make you happy, and letting go of toxic people or situations.
4. Put yourself on a pedestal
Putting yourself on a pedestal means recognizing your worth and treating yourself with the respect and love you deserve.
Instead of waiting for someone else to make you feel worthy and desirable, invest that time and energy into learning how to do it for yourself.
By doing this, you won't depend on outside opinions to determine your worth, which can be detrimental to your mental health.
Refuse to settle for less than you deserve as you pursue your dreams and passions without fear of judgment or criticism. Examples of putting yourself on a pedestal might include treating yourself to gifts, going on a solo date or trip, taking care of your appearance, focusing on yourself, and not lowering your standards.
Entering your selfish era is a powerful and transformative experience. So go ahead and enter your "selfish era" by creating a life that makes you happy and fulfilled. Your best life is waiting for you.
