You’re Not Stuck, You’re Just Addicted To Who You Have Been
You’re Not Changing Your Life—You’re Changing Your Identity
Yes, I’m talking to you, directly to you. The you who always tries to change your life by forcing new habits, and new routines, and judges your world on external circumstances.
You’ve been going through the motions, yet nothing truly sticks.
Why?
Because you’re still operating from the same self-image, the same blueprint of who you believe yourself to be.
Self-image is the filter through which you experience reality. If you believe you are “shy,” you will naturally avoid speaking up. If you identify as someone who is “unlucky in love,” you will sabotage relationships or attract partners who create situations to confirm that belief without even realising it.
If you think of yourself as someone who “just isn’t disciplined,” you will always struggle with consistency.
But the truth is, you don’t need more discipline, motivation, or willpower, you need a new identity.
You don’t “try” to be who you are. You simply act in alignment with the character you believe yourself to be. If you want to change your life, you must rebrand yourself from the core.
In this article, I’m going to show you how…
Your Self-Image is a Collection of Stories, So Rewrite the Script
Every version of you that has ever existed is based on a story. Whether these stories have come from childhood experiences, ex-lovers, societal conditioning, or past failures. They have shaped your self-concept and feel real because they’ve been reinforced over time.
But here’s the thing:
Stories are not facts.
Stories can be rewritten.
You are the author of your story.
If your life was a movie, what role would you be currently playing? Are you the main character, or the sidekick?
The boss? Or the intern?
The girl who gets the guy? Or the girl who watches other girls get their guy?
We’ve seen these characters in TV shows, films and even in music…Dionne, Gretchen…Michelle?
I’m joking! We love Michelle there’s no Destiny's Child without her.
But you know what I mean. Ask yourself: How would my life change if I refused to play in the background of my own story?
What if you woke up tomorrow and decided that you were going to be someone completely different?
What if, instead of being "the girl who struggles to come to the front," you become the woman who walks into every room as she belongs there?
I won’t sugar-coat it, your mind will resist it at first, and it won’t be easy, but repetition rewires your neural pathways.
But the brain doesn't care what’s true, it only believes what it’s told repeatedly. So tell it a new story.
You Can Change
Nothing is set in stone, and neuroplasticity means your brain can rewire itself based on experience and repetition. Every time you reinforce a new self-image, you are creating new neural connections.
How do you hack this process?
Expose yourself to proof of your new identity. If you want to become someone who wakes up at 5 AM and ‘get a head start on the day’, start following people who already do this. Watch how they think. Let their reality become yours.
I tried this for a few months in the summer, I would wake up at 4am and be in the gym by 5am, only to find out how much I love sleep and that ‘waking up while everyone is still sleeping’ is genius for productivity, but not at the cost of being snuggled up in bed for an extra two to three hours.
But this might be something that’s aligned with your highest version; find people who are doing this
Create rituals that lock in your new identity. This leads me to habits and rituals. Identity is shaped by what you do often, not by random actions. The way you get dressed, the way you start your mornings, the way you move through the world—these all reinforce who you are.
Interrupt old patterns. Write down some of the patterns of behaviour you wish to change. It might be a physical habit like smoking or a mental one such as not setting boundaries. Catch yourself when you default to your old self-image. Would the happiest version of you act this way?
If not, correct it in real-time.
Transformation is not one big leap, it’s a series of tiny shifts. And the more you lean into these shifts, the more natural they become.
The Death and Rebirth of You
And naturally, anytime you make a conscious decision to change, you are going to have to make sacrifices. Every version of you had an expiration date. But most people cling to outdated versions of themselves because they fear the unknown.
Most people would rather live in a familiar hell than an unfamiliar heaven.
So they keep a firm grip onto:
Friendships that no longer align
Romantic relationships where the spark has died
Unhealthy habits that are impacting their health
A mindset that no longer serves them
Rebranding your self-image requires grieving your past self. It requires letting go of the comfort of old identities.
Yes, it’s sad, boo hoo. But do you want?
To stay the same, on an ongoing cycle, or to use this moment to change and become a version of yourself that you can’t stop thinking about?
It takes courage. You have to be bold enough to bury your old self so you create space for something greater.
I’ve had to do this many times. I’ve had to let go of:
The version of me that played small because I was afraid of judgment
The version of me that identified as “not good enough to teach this stuff”
The version of me that kept waiting for permission to step into my power
And I’m a Sagittarius, we love running away and starting again, we live for a rebrand, but that doesn’t make it easier, but it’s what’s necessary.
Every time I have killed off an old identity, I have stepped into something bigger.
What version of you needs to die for your next-level self to step up?
The ‘As If’ Principle: How to Trick Your Brain Into Becoming Who You Want to Be
Don't wait until you “feel ready” because that moment is not coming. There will never be a time when you are ready to step into a new identity. So start now!
You don’t change your life by thinking about it, that’s the difference between the talkers and the doers, you change by acting as if it’s already true.
How to Embody Your Future Self Today:
Ask yourself, ‘How would the next-level version of me handle this?’ Every single day, in every situation, make decisions as if you are already that person.
Move through the world differently. Change your posture, your tone, the way you carry yourself. Act like someone who knows they are the person they want to be.
Speak about yourself in the present tense. Stop saying, “I’m trying to be more confident.” Instead, say, “I am a confident person.”
What I love about this is that your subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination. That’s why athletes always visualise winning gold before it actually happens.
Track stars visualise the firing of the gun, they hear the sound, run the race in their mind and feel themselves winning first place. All the while their mind believes this is actually happening, physically.
Act as if you’re already that person, and your brain will catch up.
Finally…
You are a brand, market yourself accordingly
Whether you realise it or not, whether you want it or not, your self-image is your personal brand. It determines how people perceive you, more importantly than that, how you perceive yourself, and how the world responds to you.
The question is: Are you marketing yourself as the highest version of yourself? Or are you still selling the outdated version of who you used to be?
It’s a decision.
One that you don’t need permission for. One that doesn’t require outside validation. But one that can start right now.
If this article hits home, I share even deeper, unfiltered insights in The Library. Every week, I break down mindset shifts, transformation techniques, and the exact strategies I use to step into my dream life and to help you step into yours, too.
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