How To Know If Someone Is The Right One for You
Relationships take work, hard work, and after the initial stages of dating and infatuation otherwise known as the ‘honeymoon’ period, reality starts to set in. It’s at this stage where the rose-tinted glasses are off and you are able to start seeing the relationship for what it is, and not just what you hope it will be.
When we enter relationships, we tend to focus on protecting our feelings, we look out for red flags to avoid betrayal or having our time wasted. However, if you’re happy and things are going well in your relationship overall, do not sabotage a great connection by constantly searching for the negatives, you’ll only attract more things to feel negative about and potentially ruin what you have with someone who is good for you. Instead, focus on what makes this relationship work and the positive aspects of your connection.
Below are a few signs to look out for when deciding if someone is good for you.
There’s Equal Give and Take
You should be getting what you're giving back. As mentioned in a previous post sometimes you may need to give a bit more if your partner is not on their A game, which is fine, we all have down days, as long as it’s reciprocated when it’s their turn to step up. Someone who is good for you won’t make you feel as though you are having to chase them in order to be with them.
They Respect your Need for Space
If you’re naturally independent that urge for wanting to do some things on your own probably won’t go away, but that’s okay. Most relationships need a little breathing space to grow.
This might be in the form of going to the gym on your own, going for a long drive, or having a weekend away by yourself.
You don’t have to be joint at the hip, and needing to be in your own company every now and then is normal and something every relationship should be comfortable with.
They Encourage you to Spend Time with your Friends
Priorities change as you get older so making plans with friends might not be at the top of your list as it once was, but at the same time you don’t want to completely lose your friendships due to a lack of balance between them and your relationship.
In fact, keeping in touch with your friends is something your partner should encourage you to do, there’s a different dynamic between relationships and friendships, it’s important to lean how to have both.
They Celebrate your Wins and Support your Goals
A good relationship is much more than two people who just ‘fancy’ each other physically and sexually, and not to say these aspects aren’t important, but if your partner only wants you for your physical presence the relationship doesn’t have much chance of going the distance.
Sex and physical attraction can be found anywhere, what isn’t often found is someone who genuinely wants to see you win and encourages you with inspiration and support to achieve your life goals.
Notice if your partner asks about your career, consistently shows interest, offers advice even if it’s (constructive) criticism, and genuinely cares and wants to help you achieve whatever it is you want out of life.
They Teach You New Ways of Being and Thinking
Being able to learn from each other and have an exchange of perspectives is a great way of helping each other grow. Y
ou don’t know everything, and neither do they, but you can expand each other’s knowledge by sharing what you know so far with each other.
Agreeing to Disagree
You won’t always agree with your partner, in fact there will be things you never see eye to eye on like whether the earth is flat or round, or what came first, the chicken or the egg. As long as you can agree to disagree, and even find the fun in a healthy debate and at the same time be able to return to a place of love and respect for each other’s opinions the relationship should thrive.
You Can Be Yourself Around Them
Being with someone who is good for you will make it easier for you to be yourself around them.
Feeling comfortable to enough to express your opinions and share your honest thoughts, be around them no matter your mood, a good mood, a bad mood, a goofy mood that is a sign the person you are with is good for you, we only ever feel comfortable enough to be our true selves around people we trust and feel safe with.
You Feel Comfortable Enough to Show your Playful Side
Developing a friendship within your relationship sets a foundation of respect between what you both are trying to build. You should be able to laugh, joke and be silly around your partner the same way you would with your friends. No one wants to date someone who always takes themselves too seriously and doesn’t know how to have a laugh. You should feel comfortable enough to reveal your inner playfulness.
You Feel Safe and Secure in the Relationship
If there’s one place you want to feel the most safe and secure, it’s with the person who has your heart.
Ask yourself do you trust this person? Do you feel respected by them? Do they move with integrity? Do you believe your partner genuinely wants the best for you? Do you believe they hold you in a high regard? If you can honestly answer yes, it sounds like you’re with someone who is genuine about their intentions and someone who is good for you.
