What To Look Out For And What To Avoid In A Profile When Dating Online
Dating online can be fun depending on your perspective, for the most part you just want to find the man of your dreams, fall in love and get out of there and start the fairy tale. The bad news is the process isn’t as easy and it sounds and more than often it takes a long time, a really long time, and sometimes luck to experience something like this. But the good news is, there are a number ways to filter through the thousands of profiles making your chances of meeting someone genuine and in line with what you’re looking for greater.
Here are a few things to look out for and avoid when dating online.
Only having one photo on their profile or pictures that look really old
The whole point of creating an online profile is so those viewing it can get a brief but general idea of who you are. Not often people like to admit it but physical attraction is key in any relationship which I for one agree with. I don’t think it’s shallow at all that you would want a physical attraction to the person you’ll probably become intimate with. If you like their profile but there is only one picture…catfish! No, I’m joking, but it is a little suspicious, ask if they have any other pictures they could upload, or an Instagram account where they might have more pictures of themselves.
Lazy responses, template answers, has barely filled out their profile
For those of you who have or are currently using Hinge, I’m sure you are no stranger to the prompt ‘My love language is…’ which is followed by an example answer such as ‘words of affirmation’. Ughhhh! Guys who would use the example answer as their actual answer was always a major turn off for me. Like, how are you so lazy? Are you trying to meet someone or not? If the answers to their profile prompts are very brief, too short or lack thought, be wary, if they can’t put any effort into creating a profile, I can’t imagine how much effort they would put into dating you.
Lazy vs thought-out answers
Prompt: This year I really want to… Lazy answer: Travel
Prompt: This year I really want to…Thought-out answer: Travel to different parts of South America, visit a local bar and get drunk with the locals
Lists everything they’re NOT looking for in a partner
A long list of ‘can’t’ ‘shouldn’t’ ‘wouldn’t’ ‘won’t’ could mean they are already set in their ways and have no intentions of compromise which doesn’t bode well for a sustainable relationship. If you are online dating for the hopes of a long-term this is something you might want to look out for. Still, if you get a good vibe from their profile give them a chance, some people translate differently from their page than what they do in conversation, and besides, it won’t take too long to realise whether he really is rigid or much clearer in his flexibility.
Signs of racism, homophobia, sexism, misogyny etc.
Avoid, avoid, avoid. Dating apps are strict about hate speech and rightly so, this does however mean chances you’ll see it there in black and white on a profile are slim. Yet some people simply cannot hide their ignorance for too long before the mask slips. If you’re at the stage of having frequent chats and something doesn’t feel right with the way they speak about particular groups of people, or they seem angry towards women and speak of women in a derogatory manner, get out of there, fast! It’s hard to build a loving, and kind relationship with someone who holds so much hate in their heart.
Eager to swap numbers after one conversation
Have you ever begun a conversation with someone online where you instantly thought it was going well, they immediately ask for your number and although you think it’s only been 10 minutes you don’t want to lose this connection, so you give in? Then only after only a few days, the conversations start going south or even worse you realise you have been ghosted?
Many people head to the dating apps for a quick ego boost, this includes fishing for compliments, short-term flings and of course quickly filling up their phonebooks with different numbers as a quick fix to make themselves feel good. Get to know them first, let them know you’re not easy pickings and they have to put in some effort before exchanging numbers and having access to you on that level.
If they’re a party animal
Again, not something to completely avoid however, be honest with yourself. If it seems by looking at their photos and after a few conversations they spend most of their nights out on the town drinking with the lads, in and out of clubs, rolling in at 5am and that is something you are past, think twice.
Decide where you are in your life, you may have hung up your clubbing shoes and prefer quieter nights meaning a partner who is always out drinking and partying might not be ideal. Another thing, it would be unfair to expect them to give up that lifestyle if they are not ready. Don’t force it, and definitely don’t lie to yourself by pretending it’s something you are okay with, it will only bother you later down the line. If that after you express it there doesn’t seem to be any room for compromise, move on.
Their life goals and lifestyle choices
Pay attention to the smaller details in a profile as it can be crucial to the start of your dating process. These small details include whether they smoke, drink, or dabble in something harder. Also, look out for the not so small details such as whether they want children or not, this is important and shouldn’t be ignored.
If any of these details are an absolute deal breaker for you, do not even entertain them, swipe left and keep it moving.
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