The Shocking Reason Why SHARING YOUR GOALS Are Stopping You From Achieving Them
We tend to so excited about our goals and what we want to manifest out of sheer excitement we can’t help but want to share them with others.
There is also a belief that if we tell people in our circle, it will somehow hold us accountable of our actions and boost motivation to get the job done so not to be embarrassed and look like a total let-down.
However, something you might be familiar with is shouting your goals and desires from the rooftop only for people to ask you months later how you’re getting on and you having to explain you have made much progress or have completely given up on the project altogether.
It would make sense the whole reason you initially created your goal was because the accomplishment of having achieved it would make you feel good.
You want to lose 20 pounds to feel good about your body,
You want to launch a business to feel good about living on your own terms,
You want to write a book because you want to feel good about readers enjoying your writing style,
The excitement around the idea of achieving these things would make you want to share them with others.
But the concept of sharing your goals doesn’t always create the buzz and success you think it does.
In fact, studies show when we share our goals, particularly those which are associated with our identity such as a business idea, losing weight, and other forms of self-development, we receive premature praise and recognition for simply making the goal.
I know, you might be thinking ‘well what’s wrong with a little positive feedback and encouragement?’
But it’s exactly that which could cost you reaching success and completing your goal in the first place.
Your Brain thinks you have Already Achieved It
When you receive positive feedback from sharing your goals and desires, the same feelings occur as they would if you had actually completed it.
Therefore your brain automatically thinks ‘mission complete’ making the drive to continue the work in achieving it less desirable.
Your subconscious mind cannot differentiate between the real world and the imagined world.
This means when you share the idea of your goal it sends the same reward signal to your brain as though you have physically completed it.
In other words, your brain thinks :
“Why continue building your business when you have already launched it?”
Telling someone about your goal is almost as emotionally rewarding as it is achieving it!
Once you let people in on your big idea, you mentally visualise its success which convinces your subconscious into thinking it has already happened.
Instead of your body experiencing a pre-victory nervousness, it experiences a post-win celebration!
Ironically, this is a great technique for manifestation but on the other hand this satisfies your self-identity just enough, making you feel less motivated to do the hard work necessary to actually complete the goal itself.
The Idea of Sharing your Goals Prematurely Matches that of an Orgasm
Sharing your goals conversationally creates the same feeling as you would during an orgasm.
It sounds far-fetched but hear me out. You get excited at the thought of telling your friend about your goal, the excitement builds the urge to share your goal or desire which you can’t contain longer otherwise you’re going to burst.
Stay with me…
You tell your friend the exciting news, they get excited too, and together you reach a peak in exhilaration.
Well then of course before you know it it’s all over, the comedown, the rush of endorphins begin to settle, and the last thing you want to do is get back to work making you feel de-motivated and less enthusiastic since it feels as though you have already gained the rewards.
So, what should you do?
Ph. Pinterest
Am I suggesting you sit awkwardly and tight lipped the next time you have a girly dinner and everyone is talking about their goals and what they’d like to achieve?
Hmm, yes and no.
If you feel you can’t keep it to yourself any longer, at least keep it vague and hold your cards close to your chest for as long as possible.
Living in a dopamine dependant climate we are always looking for the next quick rush of pleasure and reward that we forget the power of delayed gratification for long-term success.
If you really can’t contain your excitement and feel you must share your ideas with someone, at least wait until you are well into the process and only moments away from accomplishing it.
When I launched Kitaka only my immediate family knew. It wasn’t until I was a month away from launch day that I started to tell my friends about my new venture where I received the same positive feedback I would have if I had told them when it was just an idea.
Only this way round I had near enough executed the entire process with all the hard work and grit it took before the big reveal.
There is also something to be said for those who just say and those who just do, no matter how big or small your goal is when you have completed something you have put your heart and soul into, you suddenly become known as the person who walks the walk as well as talking the talk.
Final Thoughts
Sharing your bright idea puts the right amount of accountability and pressure on you to achieve it.
However, by not sharing your plans until moments before it’s about to come into fruition puts a healthier amount of pressure on you, allowing you to keep your head down and quietly proceed with your work.
